One Wish
by jeangreydarkphoenix
Summary: After Jean is back home from being taken over by the Phoenix she makes a dream wish that she had never been born. What will the world be like without Jean Grey?


Jeans nightmare she is walking through a forest, the same forest which she had joined in Magneto's gang. Suddenly Magneto and his gang surround her to enclose her in the middle of a circle. Jean can not escape but she feels the fear of the Phoenix returning. Then they all break out in song:

_Jean_: Don't know how to take it. Don't know where to go. My resistance running low and every day the hold is getting tighter and it troubles me so.

_Chorus (Magneto and his gang)_: You know that I'm nobody's fool

_Jean_: I'm no body's fool and yet it's clear to me. I don't have a strategy. It's just like taking candy from a baby and I think I must be

_Jean and chorus_: Under attack I'm being taken. About to crack defenses breaking. Won't somebody please have a heart come and rescue me now 'cos I'm falling apart?

Under attack I'm taking cover they're on my back, three guys one lover. Thinking nothing can stop them now. Should I want to I'm not sure I would know how…

_Jean_: This is getting crazy I should tell them so really let my anguish show I feel like I was trapped within a nightmare I've got nowhere to go.

_Chorus_: Still undecided I suppose.

_Jean_: Yes It's what I wanted but I'm scared as hell. Staring down the deepest well I hardly dare to think of what would happen where I'd be if I fell.

_Jean and chorus_: Under attack I'm being taken. About to crack defenses breaking. Won't somebody please have a heart come and rescue me now 'cos I'm falling apart. Under attack I'm taking cover. They're on my back three guys one lover. Thinking nothing can stop them now should I want to I'm not sure I would know how.

_Chorus_: You know that I'm nobody's fool.

_Jean and chorus_: Under attack I'm being taken. About to crack defenses breaking. Won't somebody please have a heart. Come and rescue me now 'cos I'm falling apart.

Under attack I'm taking cover. They're on my back, three guys one lover.

_Jean_: Thinking nothing can stop them now should I want to I'm not sure I would know how.

At this point Jean walks backwards with Magneto heading towards her. Jean realizes that he wants to get the Phoenix to come back in control. She turns around to run but bumps into a tall figure wearing a dark cloak. It starts walking forward and Jean walks backwards again. Magneto, seeing this figure, runs to hide. Jean takes another look at this figure, its cloak is drawn over its head so its face is all dark. She turns and walks away.

She walks deeper into the forest where she still feels like she's being watched by the figure. No matter where she tries to go the figure is still not to far away. Jean finally turns to it and asks, "What do you want?"

The figure stops and tells her in a horse voice, "Make a wish."

Jean is confused, "What?"

"Make a wish, one wish. And I will make it come true." The figure is still in shadows.

Jean ponders on this for only a moment. Something about this cloaked stranger gives her ease to her sufferings. Coming up with an answer only takes another second, "I wish I was never born."

The figure nods slowly as it advances towards her. It lifts up one of its arms to point with a bony finger in the other direction where it is headed. Jeans head turns around to see that there is a portal open. The figure is heading towards it and it seems to want her to follow, so she does without hesitation.

Where they end up next surprises her somewhat, Xavior's mansion. Jean looks to the figure for an explanation and it offers her none. It only walks towards the mansion and Jean followed. It walked straight through the walls and Jean followed it to surprise herself that she could walk through walls too. As soon as they were inside Jean asked it, "Figure why did you bring me here?"

It answered in the same hoarse voice, "You wanted to know what it would be like if you had never been born. This is what it would be like for the world minus Jean Grey."

Jean looked around it all looked pretty normal. The kid called Jones was sitting on the sofa with a few others doing homework or something else. Rogue was over at the other end of the room in a chair by herself. This puzzled Jean, Bobby was usually with Rogue. She asked the figure, "Why is Rogue by herself? Where is Bobby?"

It answered, "Rogue and Bobby never got together. Although Rogue is still here she did not experience the love and care so she is unable to love anyone back. She is still scared of her powers."

Jean was not sure what she had to do with Rogue being like this but she decided not to ask the figure. Instead she looked around and when the figure began to move forward Jean followed it. It led her down the hall to where Storm and Hank were sitting in the kitchen, talking over cups of coffee. Jean listened to their conversation.

Storm looked frustrated as she spoke to Hank, "You know Hank, I can't believe Scott turned down the Professors offer to be leader of the X-Men again. Its not like I like humans either but I'm doing this for the Professor because he saved me and this is what he asked of us in return."

Hank nodded, "I understand where Scott is coming from though. He's been abused by regular humans just like the rest of us. You know what he really needs? A girlfriend someone to help him along."

"I doubt he'd ever agree to anything like that. You know he can be so selfish sometimes." Ro said as she drank some more of her coffee, "Still it would be nice to have another women here," She smiled, "Can you imagine me growing up here with a girlfriend my age? That would have been nice someone besides you boys to talk with about girl stuff."

Hank nodded in understanding, "It might have done both of you some good if there was another women around here." Jean thought 'Scott isn't the leader of the X-Men?' She looked towards the figure as if it knew what she wanted it lead her down to the Professor's office.

She followed and once inside the professors office Jean noticed that he looked stressed and tired. She wasn't sure why till he picked up a paper from his desk. He said out loud to no one in particular, "Eric, where are you?" He sighed then a knock at the door came, "Come in." He ordered.

The mutant who opened the door was one that Jean hadn't seen in years, "Warren how may I help you?" The Professor asked.

Warren shock his head, "You can take a break and rest for a while for one."

"Oh you know I can't do that. I have to stay one step ahead of Eric, theres a big battle coming you know."

"But sir, we're all prepared all of us X-Men are."

He smiled somewhat at the arc angel, "I know you are Warren and I appreciate that I really do. I just can't help but think we are missing the one piece that would give us an edge."

"You mean Scott Summers? Oh Professor he is just so stubborn and selfish I can't believe it. He's so shy too, its like we're going to hurt him or him us. Either way I can't figure it out."

"Do you remember Logan was here a few weeks ago?"

"Oh god yes. He wouldn't even hear us out. We could have helped him out. But he wouldn't listen. Poor Rogue the one man who took care of her abandon her." Now Jean understood why Rogue didn't feel loved, Logan didn't stick around long enough to give her the confidence to make it here.

She leaned towards the figure, "Why didn't Logan stay spirit?" She surprised herself by calling it that. But if the figure minded being called a spirit it didn't say so.

It told her, "Without you Logan didn't have a reason to stick around. Yes he did love the girl but you gave him a reason to join the X-Men and to be around."

"But…but he left us the first chance he could."

The spirit turned its dark head towards her, "Yes but why do you think he came back? He loves you Jean in the only way he knows how. It's more then a physical attraction he feels. When you were killed Logan and Scott went crazy. Yes, Logan didn't know you as long but the feelings were about the same." Jean blinked at that she did know that Logan loved her but this was the first time anyone had confirmed that it was something beyond a physical attraction.

The spirit turned and walked out of the office with Jean following. The spirit led them upstairs and down the halls. On the way Jean saw a few of the students she had taught or had seen around campus. Among them was Kitty Pryde who looked about the same as she did when Jean had seen her last. Not much of a surprise really since Jean didn't know her that well. But now she felt drawn to the girl maybe because she knew what it felt like to walk through walls now.

The spirit did not stop till it reached a room down the hall. Jean was confused because she didn't know who's room was down here. Jean asked, "Spirit, why are we here?" It didn't answer but held up its arm and pointed directing her to go into the room. Jean paused for a moment as she entered the room to discover a lamp on the desk was the only light in the room. Jean stared at the person at the desk she knew who it had been in her reality but she refused to believe it was him now, "Scott?" She asked as she completely forgot about her not being there as she went to his side to discover he was nervously writing something down. She looked down at his writing and read it. She looked back up at Scott confused, "You're leaving Xavior? Scott how could you? This man saved your life you need to stay here. You need to fight with the X-Men, hell Scott they need you." As he continued writing his note Jean grew frustrated and tried to grab the pencil, "Scott listen to me!" But it was no use the man besides her was not the same Scott Summers that she loved. He looked at her but he didn't see her of course Jean was surprised he's face looked different and he looked unconfident unlike how she knew him.

Once he looked back at his paper Jean asked, "Why isn't he with Emma Frost? I thought if I wasn't here that he'd get with her and he'd be ok."

Spirit answered, "Emma Frost doesn't know about him. If she did she would have no reason to go after him she doesn't have to get back at you. She is not interested in him."

"Emma Frost was always trying to split us up, why would she not be interested?" The spirit didn't answer her question. It left that question up to her to decide the answer. Jean looked back at Scott, it sickened her to see him like this. She knew she could not do anything about it though, this was the reality she had chosen for her friends. The spirit came over and put its hands around her shoulders to lead her away. Jean told it, "Spirit I wish to see no more."

As if that was going to stop the Spirit from showing her what she needed to see. It led her through another portal this time they ended up in a make shift arena of some kind. In the center of the room was a cage where Logan was fighting some brave but foolish soul. Jean went closer to the cage to discover that Logan was beating the heck out of this guy. Jean gasped this was not the Logan she knew. Then the fight was over as this guy was thrown on the ground and carried out by some of his friends.

The announcer came in and said, "Tonight's champion and still king of the cage the wolverine." Jean noticed that Logan seemed not to care as he went over to the side to puff on a cigar. Well that most certainly was Logan Jean thought.

Jean sat down on an unoccupied bench as she waited for Logan to get out of the cage. She waited for a while till Logan came out, apparently he was waiting for most people to leave. When he stepped out of the cage, he didn't bother to put a shirt on so Jean could see his bare chest. Jean watched as he grabbed his discarded shirt that had been placed outside of the cage and put it on. He grabbed his leather jacket as he began to walk away and Jean followed. He led her to a room that was an office. Logan gruffly walked over to the desk where a middle aged man sat behind it. The man was counting money apparently all made from that night. Logan said, "May I have my pay now."

The man glanced up then put the money down as he started to shift through a few bills. He then handed Logan a nice little stack of cash. Logan took it and counted it once he was satisfied he pulled out another cigar and lit it. The man at the desk looked up and coughed Logan looked to see the man was pointing with his eyes to the 'Thank you for Not smoking' sign on his desk. Logan looked at it for a moment and continued to light his cigar. After a few moments of silence Logan turned and walked out. Jean followed him outside where Logan entered a beat up Ford truck with a camper attached. Behind the truck there was a hauling a small trailer. Jean didn't have to look in it to know that it was carrying a motor cycle. Logan entered the truck to sit at the wheel as if pondering something. Jean sat besides him in the passengers' side. She watched Logons gruff appearance turn into a look of sorrow and confusion. Looking at him broke her heart she had never seen him so confused. After a while Jean told him, "I'm sorry Logan, I know you can't hear me but its for the best right?" She looked up at him as if he could hear her, "Logan you have to believe me. This time period may not be the best either but at least those 5 billion aliens are still alive and the Phoenix doesn't exist here, its for the best." Even though her voice sounded confident she wasn't. She noticed Logon's hands were feeling his dog tags. She knew in this time period Logan would never be able to accept his own reality. She sighed, "I'm sorry." She looked at him and as if he could actually hear her his face perked up as he looked around. She smiled a bit as she exited the truck not wanting to see what else was different in his world.

A few moments after she exited the truck it started up then drove away. Jean was left alone, for the first time she realized her mysterious guide was not with her. It didn't matter to her as she walked along the snowy road.

Soon she heard, "You know you can change this. It doesn't have to be this way."

Jean didn't even look up to know that her mysterious friend was with her, "No its better this way. It may not be perfect but my world wasn't perfect either. This way 5 billion innocent people didn't have to die because of the Phoenix because of me."

The figure stopped walking, "You are so selfish Jean Grey. Can't you see without you the X-Men are nothing and without the X-Men what chance do normal people have against Magneto and his Brotherhood?"

Jean stopped and looked at the black figure, "Magneto's a threat?"

Figure nodded, "Very big one. Humans don't stand a chance against him. Xavior will try his best but in the end it won't be enough. As he said before they don't have an edge. Without Scott or Logan the X-Men don't stand a chance. In the end they will all die at Magneto's hand."

Jean sighed she didn't know what to think now, she most certainly did not want to sentence her friends to death, "Because of me?"

"No because that you are not there. Jean you may not realize it but you saved all of them, by your friendship and your love they were all saved. When you sacrificed yourself selflessly it only added to the things you have done for them."

Jean felt like crying she wanted to be alone to think. She asked, "Spirit can you show me something that is not altered by me?" Just then another portal opened up in front of them as they both stepped through.

Jean imminently recognized where they were her old neighborhood. Without hesitation she went into the house that she had grown up in. Looking around it looked pretty much the same. She was surprised to see her mother and father were both around, they had been dead for years! Jean asked, "My mother and father died a long time ago why are they here?"

"They only had one child your older sister Sarah." It offered no further explanation to their existence.

Jean watched her parents together. Her father was sitting at the table apparently grading papers while her mother was trying to get diner ready. Her mother told him, "John set those papers aside and come help me."

He protested, "I can't Elaine dear. I've got so much to do before tomorrow."

Her mother sighed, "John what is wrong with you? You never want to help around anymore and its not just to help me its spending time with you. Are you to busy for your wife now days?"

Her father nodded, "Right now I am dear. We'll talk later."

At this point her mother put the pan on the stove and came over to the table, "Later later its always later with you isn't it? You don't have time for me anymore."

Jean sighed as she watched. She told the spirit quietly as though the couple could hear, "That's my mom, I always remember her arguing over something. If it wasn't because of my mutation it was something else."

What her mother said next really hurt Jean, "We've been so lucky so far John. Our girl is free from that ugly mutant gene your father has. God, I don't know what I would do if I had a kid with that gene."

Jeans face was red by now, "You'd ignore her and treat her like dirt!" She sighed as she clamed down and watched her father work, "Now I know where I get my will to work and ignore everything else from. Maybe I should stop once in a while, spend more time with Scott. God he deserves it." She turned around she was through watching this take place.

The spirit caught up with her, "Are you alright?"

"No, God even without me my mothers still a bitch." She paused she couldn't believe she had just called her mother that. Scott had before but Jean had always reframed from it. She was starting to get teary eyed, "I won't ever understand how a women can give birth to a kid and then when the child needs her the most completely abandon her."

"But you weren't completely abandoned where you?"

"After I woke up from the coma, Xavior was there. He took me in, no questions asked. He knew I needed him and he loved me like his own daughter. He never stopped loving me even as I grew older. Neither did Moria she's told me to her I will always be that little 14 year old red head, brown eyed girl she knew." As Jean spoke she smiled and she knew she loved them all too. After seeing what had happened when she was gone she knew she couldn't just leave them to this fate. She had to do something about it, Phoenix or no Phoenix.

As if it read her mind the spirit said, "You know the Phoenix choose you, not you choose it. That's what everyone sees but you don't. You're too hard on yourself. You're trying to be perfect but you're not. No human or mutant is perfect. You have to let go of all that anger and let your friends help you."

"Spirit why did you bring me here? Nothings changed here."

"Indeed." Was the spirits only answer.

Jean looked around as the familiar surroundings of her old neighborhood slowly changed to the scene back at the forest. Jean found her own answer to her question nothing had changed at the Grey house. The spirit wanted to show her that it wasn't her fault that her mother was that way.

Jean looked at the figure for the first time asked, "Who are you? How do you know so much about me?" The spirit looked at her but offered no explanation to her questions. Gathering up her courage Jean walked up to the spirit and it didn't back away. Carefully Jean pulled the cloak back from its face and backed away in shock. The face that was before her was none other then her own! Jean gasped as the bulky features of the spirit shrank down till they were an exact copy of herself. She said, "It can't be."

The spirit told her in her own voice, "It is what you want it to be." Then it approached her and pushed her into a final portal where Jean fell. As she was falling she could see her life flashing before her in segments, the good and the bad relived. Until finally it seemed that her journey had ended. She could see blackness but she felt the warm sun on her face. She opened her eyes to discover she was back at Xavior's mansion and indeed nothing had changed for she was still alive in her own reality.


End file.
